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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160662">The Feeling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wicked_Anon/pseuds/Wicked_Anon'>Wicked_Anon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hollow Knight (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Blood, Blood and Injury, Drinking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Highschool AU, Hollow Knight Modern Au, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Modern AU, Other, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:42:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wicked_Anon/pseuds/Wicked_Anon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’d been weeks since God Tamer’s confession. About herself, her home life, why she acted out the way she had. She was on the verge of falling off the edge of sanity. It was eating Tiso up inside.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>God Tamer &amp; Tiso (Hollow Knight), God Tamer/Tiso (Hollow Knight), tisotamer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mentions of suicide and implied self harm. Veiwer Discression is Adviced</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’d been weeks since God Tamer’s confession. About herself, her home life, why she acted out the way she had. She was on the verge of falling off the edge of sanity. It was eating Tiso up inside. The lack of confidence in his steps drew attention from his usual bullies and friends. They gave him confused glares and concerned looks. A teacher had already stopped him, feeling his lack of energy. It’d been weeks, and yet he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Seeing her face had filled him with a sense of calm every day since then. Relief washing over him in drowning waves. But today, his stomach churned differently. It wasn’t the usual worry or overthinking. He felt heavy, sick. He glanced around the hallway, paranoid. Like a deer in headlights. He searched for her face in the crowds of students only to find strangers looking back at him. He pulled his hoodie over his head to mask it better. Where was she, where was she…</p><p>The bell rang, and he jumped. The loud noise gave him a headache as the halls filled with laughter and cya later’s. He continued to look through the crowd, now squished between jocks and mean girls. It wasn’t unusual for her to be late. Maybe he was just overreacting. Yeah, yeah that had to be it.</p><p>He made it to class, took his seat. And still, he couldn’t focus. The teacher spoke, but her words rang out as meaningless noise. Mere hums as his heartbeat filled his ears. He bounced his leg and drummed his fingers against his desk. His stomach twisted. Something wasn’t right.</p><p>“Tiso.”</p><p>His name snapped him back. The teacher and all the other students looked at him, waiting.</p><p>“Hm? Yes, Ms. Seer?”</p><p>“Is something wrong?”</p><p>Her question only made his stomach twist more, churning desperately. He wanted to say yes. Wanted to beg and plead for someone to find out what was wrong. But no one else seemed to be feeling the way he had. He couldn’t.</p><p>“No. Uh, may I use the restroom?”</p><p>A petty excuse to get out of class. To find her. Seer nodded. He launched out of his seat with his phone in his grasp, fingers anxiously tapping against the case. The moment the door to the classroom closed, his phone was in his hand. He found her contact and clicked, his legs walking aimlessly around the hallways.</p><p>It rang.</p><p>One</p><p>Two </p><p>Three</p><p>Four</p><p>“The number you are trying to reach-”</p><p>Dammit!</p><p>Tiso ran. His legs carried him god knows where. Something was wrong, and he damn well knew it. The feeling had been bugging him since he woke up. Why hadn’t he listened?! Faster, faster. He ran past the bus stop, done the street. He’d hardly ditched class before. But he couldn’t care less. The school would call his parents. They wouldn’t care much if his gut was right. Faster. Please, run faster. He couldn’t breathe. His lungs ached. He had more stamina than this but he was pushing. His legs cramped and yelled for him to stop. Still, he ran..</p><p>He was outside her house before he realized it. He’d only ever walked her here. He’d never gone in before. Fuck it. There were no cars in the driveway. She wouldn’t get in trouble. He checked the door. Unlocked. Good.</p><p>“God Tamer!” He yelled. He was panting, tears of worry prickling in his eyes. Please, let him be wrong.</p><p>“God Tamer, are you here?”</p><p>No answer. He pulled out his phone again, clicking her contact.<br/>It rang.</p><p>One.</p><p>Two</p><p>And he heard it.</p><p>Her ringtone rang out loud and clear. Just down the hall...the bathroom.</p><p>No.</p><p>He ran, trying the doorknob only to find it locked. </p><p>“God Tamer! Are you in there?”</p><p>Maybe she was bathing?</p><p>He took a step back, waiting for the door to open. He heard a tiny splash an looked down. Water pooled at his feet, and his eyes shrunk to slits.</p><p>No.</p><p>He rammed his shoulder into the door. The shitty wood frame splintered, and he froze.</p><p> Her body lay still in the red water. She was facing him, and the water continued to run. Red waterfalls fell over the side of the tub. Her head bobbed in the water before slowly sinking under. He ran to her side, scooping his arms under her, lifting her out of the water. </p><p>“God Tamer. God Tamer, please. Come on, answer me. Something. It’s me. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.”</p><p>He mumbled comforting words on deaf ears. Her eyes were closed, but her chest rose and fell with soft breaths. She was alive. Oh, thank god. Tiso pulled out his phone, dialing 911.</p><p>Please, god...let her be okay.</p><p>---</p><p>Tiso paced back and forth in the waiting room. His clothes were cold, still wet from the bathwater. Still dark with her blood. Occasionally his sweater would touch his stomach, the cold of it pulling him back to where he stood before his mind wandered to her. Her body, still clothed in just another band tee and basketball shorts. Her eyes were closed. She looked almost peaceful. It made him want to throw up. He’d skipped breakfast that morning. He couldn’t throw much up if he tried. </p><p>“Tiso Spencer?” </p><p>Tiso’s head shot up. A male doctor, dressed in white with fresh gloved hands and black child stubble looked back at him. He was young but definitely not new to the job. He motioned Tiso closer.</p><p>“Your friend is in stable condition. She’ll be a little loopy thanks to a few pain killers, but otherwise, she should be fine. You did the right thing, son.”</p><p>Tiso sighed heavily, relief washing over him. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. His legs shook, and the doctor must’ve sensed the question in his mind.</p><p>“You’re allowed to see her, but I’ll ask you to be careful. Most people who attempt are wary and erratic if they survive. She may be a little jumpy.”</p><p>Tiso nodded. It wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t dealt with before. They play fight all the time, and she would often hit him over the head when he made dumb flirt attempts. He took a step towards the door, opening it slowly. The afternoon sun filling the room gave the walls a heavenly bright glow. God Tamer lay still in her bed, tucked under the thin sheets. Her wrists were wrapped in bandages, handcuffed with velcro. A precaution, to keep her from attempting anything stupid during her time in recovery.</p><p>He stood at her bedside, looking at her with tears in his eyes. She looked at him, shock filling her face.</p><p>“Tiso...I…”</p><p>Her words fell short, and Tiso felt his walls crumble to gravel. Tears fell from his eyes, and his knees gave in. He fell across her lap, sobbing grossly into the sheets. He was happy and confused, and afraid. He had so many questions. But he couldn’t speak. All that came out were broken sobs and pitiful whimpers. And he couldn’t care less. His hoodie fell back, and he felt her stroke his head softly. Her touch sent warmth across his body. He sniffled and turned his head just slightly. Her face was pained. Unshed tears fell down her cheeks, but she made no sound.</p><p>“Why did you do it?”</p><p>It came out broken, his voice cracking halfway through every other word. He had to know, though her face said he did. He knew the answer. Her home life was shit. She was a Jr in high school. Her father left when she was a child, her mother was a drunk, and never home. And when she was, God Tamer was forced to hide, and lock her door to keep herself safe. She was stressed in so many ways. She hated it. And Tiso knew that.</p><p>He lifted his head, brushing a thumb along her cheek and wiping away her tears, He looked her in the eyes with confidence, for the first time all day.</p><p>“When you get out of the mental institution, you can come with me. My parents will accept you as soon as I tell them what’s going on...That sound okay?”</p><p>God Tamer’s lip quivered. Her resolve was ready to shatter, and still, she held strong. She nodded, and Tiso could see the fear in her eyes. What she’d done would have consequences. Trauma, her mother would be furious, she’d worried Tiso. God, how could she be so…</p><p>Tiso kissed her cheek, then her forehead. Then her nose. His thumb brushed against her cheek, and he smiled. He would be supportive.</p><p>“It’ll be okay, baby...It’ll be okay.”</p><p>Tears fell, and her face broke out as she began to sob. She was afraid… But Tiso said things would be okay. And for once in her life, she chose to trust him...let’s hope he doesn’t fail her now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>THIS HURT TO WRITE I WON'T LIKE BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ANYWAY IT WAS MOSTLY SELF INDULGENT OKAY THANKS BYE</p></blockquote></div></div>
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